More ruins!!!

A day when I discover that I am unable to follow directions on my phone!!!!!

So, this morning.... and at regular intervals during the night ... I awoke to the sound of a police car responding to an emergency somewhere nearby.....yes, yes, I know we are in a large city, but I had forgotten that the traffic noise goes on 24/7.....not only that but I swear to God that the bed was moving..... and Dear Richard was fast asleep so it was nothing to do with him!!!! Eventually I decided that passing trams were causing the building to move.... well, either that or we were experiencing multiple earth tremors .... a possibility guaranteed to keep me awake and planning an escape route all bloody night!!! So morning arrived,all bright and sunny and ready for action.... I threw open the shutters and even more of the traffic noise burst into the room..... I mentioned to Dear Richard my experience with the shaking bed and he confirmed that it had indeed been vibrating, due he felt to the trams on the street below. We looked out of the window.... no tram lines.... therefore no trams, theory up in smoke,we had to think again,( because I for one did not want to contemplate the earthquake scenario,)and finally decided that the Metro must run beneath the hotel thus causing the movement we had both felt in the night. With my face prepped and my hair brushed I felt ready to face the breakfast room ( those of you who have holidayed with me before will be laughing now!!!!)! , so off we went in search of fuel for the day. Our fellow breakfasters were a mixed crowd.... there was a table of priests, a group of Irish travellers, .. who were maybe hoping to see the Holy Father himself on the balcony. Don’t think there was a huge chance of that,being as it wasn’t a Sunday or indeed a day of any special religious significance. Actually as we left St Peters the day before we crossed a small road which led up to a pair of large metal gates..... behind the gates I am certain I saw the Pope chatting to a security man.......well let’s put it this way it was an oldish man wearing white robes , so it had to be him.... right!!!! In addition to the Irish contingent there were guests from several other European countries. We have noticed a lot of German and American tourists here.

Breakfast was the usual fare, quite why Italians can only scramble eggs I do not know..... I am developing a

massive craving for poached eggs on proper toast at the moment...... not only that, but the finished product seems to range from overdone to totally solid..... and invariably they are cold!!!!

I am also baffled by the practice of enjoying a slice or two of cake , a chunk of tart or some fancy puff pastry concoction alongside said cold eggs, ham and cheese. But that’s just me, everyone else was tucking in as though it was the last supper!!!!

Breakfast over we set off in search of the major sights ..... along with thousands of other tourists.... they were easy to spot...... either following a cheerful tour guide striding forward under a folded umbrella or a flower of some description, or standing in the middle of the road wearing a baffled expression as they poured over a confusing map. That is of course unless they are Japanese. I have spoken of this specific group of tourists before as in this area they are by far the best represented race in terms of tourist traffic that we have seen. It is unusual to see Japanese tourists going it alone, they are more often to be found following one of the aforementioned guides, ear plugs in, nodding earnestly while taking non stop selfies or pictures of important landmarks like lampposts or scooters!!! And they do like a hat!!! I have compiled a small homage to the headgear of the Japanese tourist.... it became a bit of an obsession!!! Once again stealth was the order of the day which explains some of the odd angles!!!!

So yesterday I mentioned the poor planning of the Ancient Romans with regard to the distance between the various things in Rome that tourists come to see. Today I had good reason to complain .... a LOT of walking is required in order to visit the major sights.... when I say the major sights I am only talking about The Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon and the Colosseum..... by the end of the day we had walked this many steps!!!

Most, but not all as a result of traipsing around Rome because everything is so far apart!!!! .....Oh please ......that’s what I said a lot.... followed by, can we sit down, I need a rest or how much further is this fu**ing fountain!!!! and in mitigation , your honour, it was very hot and we were fighting our way through millions of other people trying to find the same places.... all at the same bloody time!!!!

More of the other reason for the vast amount of steps later !!! So we saw the Spanish Steps.... and that’s just what they were ....steps.... people were walking up them..... taking a picture and walking down them..... heaven help anyone who thought they would have a little rest there though, the minute a bum touched down on the ancient stones , hysterical whistle blowing would commence and continue until the culprit had raised their rear and moved sheepishly away. Dear Richard was persuaded to join the throng for a picture, off he went and there he stood ..... in the meantime I had caught sight of more hats and was busy taking pictures of them.... if you look carefully at his picture you can just make out the word he was mouthing to me when I remembered what I should be doing!!!

So Spanish Steps, tick....... now we set off for the Trevi Fountain. As with most of Rome’s historic treasures, the fountain is squeezed into a tiny Piazza and surrounded by houses..... it follows therefore that there is not a lot of room for the hoards of people who go there hoping to be able to chuck some money over their shoulder into the water. According to legend three coins should be tossed into the fountain....the first coin you throw in means that you will return to Rome, the second that you will return and fall in love, the third means that you will return, fall in love and marry, so depending on your romantic situation at the time , you will have to find between one and three coins ( notes don’t work apparently), take up your position, back to the water, take aim and fling your cash over your shoulder. It’s obviously cheaper if you live in Rome and are already married, or indeed if you have arrived in Rome spouse in tow..... of course if you are sick of the sight of your current partner throwing three coins in could be the answer to all your prayer. Either way it’s a

bloody good way for the City of Rome to make a bit of extra dosh .... apparently about 4000 dollars worth of coins and wishes make their way into the fountain every day!!!

As a result of the legend, and probably because it’s a famous land mark, the Trevi Fountain was absolutely heaving.....trying to get near the edge required sharp elbows and a very thick skin but we found a spot and commenced coin chucking. Dear Richard( unaware of the legend at that point ) went first and I did my best to record his efforts.... given the circumstances I didn’t do too bad a job I feel, there was a lot of pushing and shoving but I stood my ground ......

His attempt didn’t go quite so

well.....

He says the camera was on the wrong setting....... I think he just didn’t want me to get all three coins in the fountain....( well he has been stuck with me 24/7 for two whole weeks!!!!.).... in case the legend came true!!! The whistle blowers were also in evidence here too.... anyone attempting to enter the area with food of any description was singled out , as were those who once again just needed to rest their aching feet for a moment.... the water looked very inviting,but fearing public humiliation by whistle I refrained from having a quick paddle....

So ,Trevi Fountain....tick....now for the Pantheon, but first a refreshment break.....one thing in Rome that I was grateful for.... the vast number of cafes and bars.... there is no exscuse for going hungry or thirsty here....

that done we set off once again. The Pantheon is a former Roman Temple which is now a church. Like the Trevi Fountain it is set in a small Piazza in the middle of the city which .... no surprise .... was crowded with tourists. Entry was free, although as we went in we were both waiting for someone to demand a fee or a ticket.... inside was amazing and once again I don’t feel that the pictures do it justice.

Now for the biggie.... the colosseum. You would think that something as large as this would be easy to find....... not so my friends.,...it was hot and we had already done a lot of walking and so not being able to find the bloody place was not going down very well at all. We did stumble on the Piazza Venezia on the way which was beautiful but involved a lot of step climbing which pissed me off a bit.....

Finally ..... finally there it was.... so bloody enormous you can see

it from Space I expect!!!! once again the crowds were monumental, although I expect that in its time that was quite normal. Ticket touts were everywhere, trying to persuade the impatient to join one

of their tours and skip the queue to get in.... which incidentally was

about two miles long..... we had tried without success to get tickets online and I was too hot and tired to stand in a queue for hours so we walked around the outside , looking through the arches, and then decided to call it a day . There is no doubt that what remains is very impressive....we can only imagine what life was like at that time.... seeing the scale of the ruins which have been uncovered and preserved really brings home what an advanced culture the Roman Empire was.

And so we set off in search of the hotel. The map had defeated us so I was using my phone

I was very happy at the “ mostly flat!! “ The 29 minutes was a bit disconcerting but I reasoned that if the worst came to the worst we could get a taxi!!!! Off we went, following the river.... what could go wrong???? I checked my phone from time to time and after about twenty minutes realised that the time to destination was getting longer, not shorter as one would imagine.... Dear Richard, also tired and getting a little impatient, had a look and .... yes, I know you are way ahead of me now..... discovered that we had been walking the wrong way along the river...... so now we were almost an hour away from the hotel!!!!

If he was cross he didn’t show it too much..... if it had been me I would never have let him forget it..... bless him , we re-traced our steps , this time going the right way , and eventually.... when I really thought I couldn’t take another step, got back to the hotel where I could have a lie down. I had a huge blister on one toe and a very damaged ego as a result of my lack of map reading skills, I really could not understand how I got it so wrong.... I’ve got an A level in Geography for f**ks sake!!! ....and of course I couldn’t moan as it was all

my fault!!!!! Well I did have a bit of a whimper about my painful

blister, but it fell on very deaf ears, so I took the hint and resolved to suffer in silence!!! Once we had rested our aching legs we began to feel hungry and so out we went AGAIN this time in search of dinner. All we wanted was a sandwich but despite an extensive search found nothing worth eating.....finally.... and by this time all I wanted was a BIG drink .... bugger the sandwich... we came apon a shop with some food which didn’t look as though it was two days old , made our purchase and returned to our room where the most important thing was waiting.... a bottle

of wine!!! You will not be surprised to learn that we both fell asleep very easily after such a tiring day.

Even the vibrating bed didn’t wake me up , although I did have a very strange dream which involved a ticket tout wearing a weird hat selling us up the river!!’